How to get over depression

I don’t exactly know when I started having depression, but I know that I wasn’t happy since I was a child for no obvious reason. I had a normal childhood with my parents and my sisters. There was nothing to be sad about I had everything that I needed growing up. 

I noticed first that I wasn’t very cheerful like other kids. I was very shy and it was hard for me to talk to anyone. I also was an anxious child afraid of almost everything. That’s what I remember.

I didn’t know that there are doctors that can help me with these problems. Whenever I felt scared, I’d go to my mom. I guess also my mom didn’t know that she could take me to a child therapist to treat my anxiety.

At my teenage years I became more depressed, so I kept isolating myself. I hated everything about myself, and I wanted to be someone extremely different than I am. Someone who looks prettier and so much smarter than I am, so I kept trying to be that with everything I can, but never quiet reaching the standards I have set for myself.

My depression started from childhood, I guess. It kept going worse with every year. I didn’t know how to deal with it and I just kept distracting myself from the awful feelings and I drowned myself thinking about fantasies. 

When I turned 25 that’s when it got the worst. It wasn’t a mild depression that lasted for few days. It became very severe that lasted for years. I decided to see a doctor because a lot of things at that time was not going right for me.

I was prescribed a small dose of antidepressants, and every month for more than a year my doses gone up higher. I wasn’t getting better anytime soon. It was the most awful time of my life.

I felt deeply sad. I cried a lot. I felt like I don’t want to do anything, because there was nothing there to enjoy in life. I wanted to be numb, and I wanted to sleep all the time. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to go out. I tried to do almost everything to get better, like meditate, pray, walk, drink a calming tea, sound therapy, but nothing worked, so I kept hiding in my bed all day.

I kept holding myself to the little hope I had left inside of me believing that one day everything will change. This helped me al lot. I remained patient all the time, and self-harm was never an option for me. In fact, I feared going to that rout. Sometimes I would hold myself with my arms like I was hugging myself, because I was scared of doing harm to myself.

All that hope and patience paid off eventually. It didn’t get better in one or two days. It took me two years to get back to being normal. I spent those years in hope despite all the attempts of the things I tried and failed, the only thing was left for me was hope. I promised myself to be patient everyday.

I did everything slowly, and took tiny steps to recovery. I sticked to my medication along the time. I still take those meds till now. I didn’t get to the point of getting off meds, but I absolutely feel better than before.

Last week for the first time my doctor suggested that we lower the dose of the antidepressant I take, and I can say now that I can go with that. I still have hope that one day I will not need them anymore.

I’m very thankful that now I can wake up in the morning feeling happy and excited for the day. I go out everyday. I eat healthy and hit the gym at least four days a week. I spend good time with my friends every week, and I’m happy at my home.

If you go through the same thing I do, stay hopeful and patient. Keep all the people that can help you close to you don’t push them away, and do everything you can by taking little steps, and if you’re tried get enough rest. Things will get better gradually. You will get back to your energy, and be better than before.